The Road to Allipalooza

Two years ago before the idea of Allipalooza was even conceived I spent most of my time in my laz-y-boy chair waiting to die.   My friend Tracy and fellow ovarian young adult survivor told me about a canoe trip in Colorado that she was putting together for single cancer survivors.  I was so tempted to go on this trip, but kept saying how impossible it was due to my current medical condition.  Tracy really felt that I needed to attend this trip and kept talking to me about it.   Thankfully I agreed.   I learned so much about myself on that trip.  Most importantly that my health does not have to stop me from doing things I love   I also learned that you can feel like shit and still have fun.  Here is link to a blog I wrote when I returned.  http://www.redhheadedbaldchic.blogspot.com/2010/09/lessons-learned-from-colorado.html

2nd Annual Solo Survivors Trip - August 2011

I left that trip energized to find that something missing in my life - that drive to want to live again and follow my dreams.  I have become close friends with several people I met on the trip that are constant sources of support for me.  That first canoe trip in 2010 was the impetus of many changes in my life and outlook and was a predecessor to Allipalooza. 

Floating down the river - August 2011

This year Solo Survivors is hosting a 3 day rafting & camping trip on the Colorado River August 18-20.  Early bird registration is $75 until 7/6/12 and then cost is $100  http://raftingrejuvenation.eventbrite.com/

I challenge all my single friends that are cancer survivors to start their own "palooza" by going on this trip.

If you are not single or unable to attend please consider supporting Solo Survivors by spreading the word about the trip to all single survivors.  The participant cost of the trip is just a fraction of the total cost that Solo Survivors pays to host this trip. Will you consider donating $20 to help a single survivor have the opportunity to have an experience like my own?     http://www.crowdrise.com/solo-survivors/

Recap of Allipalooza-Southwest

(written on 4/11)
I am sitting on a plane headed back to Maryland and to the real world. In the two weeks I have been gone I have experienced life in a new way.

Not only was I able to be a part of an incredible event for young adults affected by cancer but I was able to cross off a few places I've wanted to see and test myself on traveling alone for almost ten days.

This trip was incredible - a once in a lifetime opportunity. To be honest I was a little nervous about striking out on my own driving around some remote place in the country. Compounded with concerns from well meaning people I left Vegas a bit gun shy.

The first night that I camped in Zion I crawled in the van at sunset, locked all the doors and stayed inside until the sun rose again. I was very lucky to have a gorgeous view of Watchmen Peak from my bed and didn't feel as though I was missing out on anything.

It wasn't until two nights later when staying in Bryce that I was outside when it was dark and realized the starry sky and full moon I had missed out on the previous nights.

This brings to mind a question about how often we miss out on life because we are afraid to take risks. Too many times in my life, especially the last few years I let my fear overcome my desire for something. Not everything went as planned during my trip and my wallet is a little lighter after needing the services of a locksmith (a whole different story), but I am no worse for wear. In fact, I have some great adventures to tell about and memories that I will remember forever and which will shape my future self.

Another thing I realized on my trip is that we are often too busy looking forward or striving for the next accomplishment that we do not give ourselves time to enjoy the here and now. Originally my itinerary included several more destinations. I realized I was not giving myself time to enjoy each location. I found myself in the first few days thinking about what I will see in the other places instead of allowing myself revel in the beauty of where I was. Conversely, it was hard not to compare each new place with the previous sites. Why do we do that? I am happy to say that I was able to overcome these urges and enjoy each day for what and where it was.

I met with a friend last night to share stories about my trip and we talked about how most people do not give themselves time to take trips like this. I have found that society as a whole is always looking toward the next goal and is rarely happy with what we have. If a job is not likely to lead you to a better position it is a waste if time. If you are single you should be looking for a potential spouse to settle down. I find that sentence to have a key word in it -settle. Why should we all settle for anything less than our dreams? At the same point however we can't let dreaming outshine the life we already have.

Several people have told me that I can be selfish, that I often put my own happiness ahead of others. I would challenge that. I'm not sacrificing anyone else's happiness for my own, but that by making my own dreams come true and ensuring my own happiness allows me to give more of myself to others.

I think we too often live the life we think we should live and not the one we want. This too often leads to resentment and unhappiness.

Tomorrow I have to return to the real world of chores, work and paying the bills. Basically life's responsibilities that existed before my trip will have piled up, but that is ok. I had ten glorious days of following my own whims and desires that will fill my dreamer's spirit over the next several months. I guess one message I want to share with each of you is we should always take time to follow our dreams. It will challenge ourselves and not only give us possibly the best experiences of our lives but give us memories to get through life's mundane moments.

In the next week I have several doctor's appointments and knee surgery. I will be on bed rest for several days and will need another round of rehab. Not only will I have this adventure to reflect on but the next part of Allipalooza to look forward to and plan.

As some of you have seen I have a name and a logo for my adventures. My tagline for Allipalooza is exploration, challenge and adventure to the core of discovery. What is your logo and slogan for your life? If you could have your own adventure what would it be? Tomorrow is not guarantee. Take advantage of today and create your own "palooza".

Peace, love and hope

Alli

The lure of Sin City....and a fortune.

Today I drove the final leg of Allipalooza-Southwest. I arrived in Las Vegas which meant a real bed and a shower. Along with the comforts of a hotel room came the distractions that all casinos in Las Vegas offer. After spending a few more hours in solitude I met a friend for a drink.

In additional to the nightly rate for the hotel room I had to pay a $15 resort fee. In exchange for this fee I received two $15 drink coupons. It is really only a way to encourage you to spend more money.

Since I was down on casino level after meeting my friend I decided to try my luck on the slots. On my last visit to Vegas in February I won a hundred dollars so I thought I maybe the gambling Gods would be with me again. After trying several machine two things were obvious to me. First, just because one machine won before does not mean it would be a winner a second time. Second, there is a reason you should only take a select amount of money with you to casino versus having your wallet with you. For some reason I question spending $80 on a pair of hiking boots, but when you put a twenty in a couple different slot machines it does not seem like a lot. After losing more money than I want to admit I decided to cash in my free drink ticket. Since I was drinking alone I decided to try my hand at the slot machine at the bar. Since my coupon was equivelnt to $15 I was given two drinks. Soon after I started playing the slot machine it randomly won over $150. The smart thing would have been to cash out, take my drinks and call it a night. The casino bets that you will not do the smart thing. I still had $15 dollars of fake money in front of me so I continued to press the buttons and bet money that really was not mine to begin with (or was i?t).

I started the bargaining we all use when gambling. "okay, I might be up but if it paid out now, it will pay out more". So I kept pressing the buttons. Sometimes I won and some times I lost. I kept bargaining with myself that I would stop when my balance hit a certain amount. However, whenever I hit that amount I still had more half a drink to consume so I kept going. I told myself it was no big deal since it was just gambling and the money was not really mine regardless of the dollars I already fed into the other machines.

Finally my credits and glass were empty and I decided it was time to call it a night. Since I had already had consumed four more drinks than normal (which is zip) I figured I should eat something. I went to the food court and ordered some Chinese food. Along with my entree I received a fortune cookie. My fortune tonight is "Beware of an offer that sounds too good be true". This seems applicable to my evening. Free drinks are only a ploy for you to spend more money. I might not have spent the money on alcohol, in reality I was the casino's ideal guest. Instead of alcohol I consumed the lure of winning.

Even now as I sit in my room and type this I am tempted to go downstairs to redeem my remaining $15 drink coupon and take my chances at the slots. The question of the day is "Will I take advantage of the coupon or call it an early night and rip it up?".

I will let you decide which path I choose.

The Beauty of the High Southwest

Yesterday I stood on the rim of the Grand Canyon. I've seen many amazing sites among nature, but I think the Grand Canyon may be one of the most spectacular I have witnessed. As I walked along the rim trail I kept thinking about how small I feel compared to the vastness of the Grand Canyon. I have been stunned by the beauty if nature I have seen in the last week. To some the colored rocks might be devoid of the beauty one sees in the vibrant colors of the Redwood Forest or the shimmering lakes and rivers in Glacier. After seeing all of these places in person I venture to say that they all behold a special kind of beauty.

Life Elevated

Yesterday l was driving near the Utah /Arizona border towards Lake Powell. As I crossed back over Utah's state line I read their welcome sign and their motto is "Life Elevated". I imagine this refers to the high elevation and the peaks and buttes. For me, it took on a different meaning. The thing that came to mind was elevated thinking. This week while surrounded by such beauty I have been very reflective on my life and purpose. Last Saturday I moderated a session at OMG called "Are you there God? It's me cancer". While I think the session could have gone better we talked about a greater purpose in life.

Over the past few years I have questioned my purpose and lessons learned from my journey with cancer. Life was not perfect before cancer and while some good things have come from my cancer experience, on a whole it sucked. It makes me angry that all the attendees at OMG are effected by cancer in some way. One of the comforting thoughts is that maybe some of the 550 people in that theater last weekend were touched, inspired and maybe instilled with a little bit of hope. I pray that those that arrived in Vegas for the Summit feeling alone left with a sense of kinship with their fellow attendees and formed new friendships to rely on throughout the rest of their journey with this horrible disease.

There have been times since I got cancer that I felt alone, felt that no one else could possibly have gone through the same shit. I no longer feel that way. What is amazing to me is while I have been on this solo trek this past week I have not felt alone or even lonely. So many people have been following my Facebook updates, my tweets and blog posts that I know that many are traveling with me, if only in spirit. Everyday I have heard from friends, old and new that have wanted to know how it is going and to give me their support.

Each day last weekend I wore an Allipalooza sticker and handed them out to fellow attendees. I shamelessly talked about my upcoming trip and by the end of the weekend people where asking me for stickers. I have pictures with people proudly displaying my logo on their shirts, bags and other possible surfaces. I don't think it was the design or tag line on the stickers that made people want one, but the meaning behind Allipalooza. I think everyone should have their own "palooza". A time of of celebration, challenge and discovery. As I write this post Allipalooza - Southwest is not over, but it has certainly given be a sense of "Life Elevated".

Ok, that is enough contemplation for the day. It is time to explore the Grand Canyon.

Deep thoughts today.

One thing I've learned this week is when you are traveling solo you tend to be more contemplative. There is no one around to distract you and you might think about things you try not to. I've been thinking a lot about my dad. Fourteen years ago my parents came to visit me when I was living in California. After our visit they drove from Central California to Las Vegas and onto Bryce, Zion and the Grand Canyon. It is hard to know that dad visited the same places I am now without being able to talk to him about it. In fact knowing that I will never be able to talk to him again is devastating.

It has been just over 4 months since the day that changed the life of everyone in my family. I will never forget the events on Thanksgiving Day but more importantly I will never forget the conversations I have had with my dad and the times I had with him the past two years. I close this post with a special note to my dad.

Dear dad, I think about you everyday and miss you greatly. I will think about you on Sunday as I walk around the Grand Canyon and I dedicate this trip to you. Love you always.

A lodge, some lamb and a mule

Since the forecast last night was below 30 degrees and the campground has no power hookups I wimped out and stayed at Bryce Canyon Lodge and treated myself to a nice dinner. The rack of lamb was a far cry from the canned meat I have been eating since Monday.

This morning I took a mule ride down into Bryce Canyon. I thought Bryce was beautiful from above but it is spectacular close up. The hoodoos are amazing. Although my bum hurts and I may never walk the same. My mule Tony was a bit adventurous and liked to walk near the edge of the trail. Considering the cliffs the trail was alongside I was not too fond of this and had to shut my eyes a few times.

I realized last night that for the first time in almost 5 years I don't feel like I have cancer. I still have fatigue and take a nap most days, but that is ok.

This trip and Allipalooza is not about having cancer or even the long term side effects. It is about moving on, testing myself, making dreams come true and figuring out what I want with the rest of my life.

I have second guessed myself a few times on this trip and have made a few stupid decisions like leaving my jacket in the van because it seemed warm but not taking account the wind and elevation change. But that is what life is all about. Making mistakes, learning from them and hopefully not doing them again. Luckily none of my mistakes were bad ones.

Ok, a nap is calling and then I am going to head towards Kanab Utah and hopefully find someplace to camp with a power hookup. Until later.

Peace, live and hope!

Alli

Another day in the Allipalooza Diaries

Bryce Canyon.

I am sitting at Sunset point while I write this. I can't think of a better inspiration for a post than this spot. It is breathtakingly beautiful here and that is not the altitude talking. (or at least only a little)

I woke up early and broke camp. I was happy I was in the van last night instead of a tent. It got a bit windy. Driving through Zion was awesome. Especially in the morning light. I was not prepared for the switchbacks or the tunnel that was built in the 1930's. Good workmanship without the tools we have today.

I arrived in Bryce Canyon National Park a little after 9am. It was pretty chilly and I was surprised at the snow on the ground. I took a quick nap and then decided to drive around. At first I was disappointed after the bold views of Zion. All I could see from the road was trees. After watching a video at the visitor center I realized that unlike Zion where the views are there at every look, in Bryce you have to go searching for them.

As I drove around the park I started getting a look at the views from pull offs along the road. I decided to go all the way to the last lookout and promised myself to stop at every turn off on the way back. My patience was well rewarded. Walking the short trails to places like Paria, Bryce and Inspiration Points I was able to see the real beauty of Bryce Canyon. Looking across the canyon in what is called The Amphitheater I was able to gaze upon the red sandstone walls, the incredible Hoodoos and the beauty of the natural carved stone. I took a ton a pictures during my 3 hour drive and walks around the park. Only a few are on my phone so you will have to wait until I get home to see the rest.

During the last few days while on this solo trek I have learned a lot about myself and have come to many realizations about my journey the last few years and the events that have brought me to this point. I will try to write about some of these tonight. One thing I have learned is it is hard to not contemplate life when you are surrounded by naturals miracles.

Enough for now. Many thanks to all of those new friends I met this weekend at OMG that are following my travels and providing support. I could not do this without you cheering me on.

Peace, love, hope!

Alli

Zion National Park

Yesterday I left the hubbub of Las Vegas for the quiet pace of Zion National Park. It was a much longer drive than expected due to construction leading to a traffic jam. It took 90 minutes to get out of Vegas but I had music and I was officially on vacation so in the big picture not a big deal.

I arrived at Zion after 6pm. Thankfully I was able to reserve a campsite for last night. Once at the campsite I discovered I had an electric hookup which was helpful to have the portable heater running last night. It was in the low thirties last night Once settled I wrote in my journal and watched the sunset over The Watchman.

I'm not sure I have the words to describe the beauty. It got cold quickly after sunset and I called it an early night.

This morning I watched the sunrise, packed up and drove to the other campground which was first come first served. My original plan was to only spend one night in Zion and move on to Bryce for one night and then spend two nights in Capitol Reef. I realized that it was a tight schedule and I would rather explore Zion and Bryce and will skip Capitol Reef this time so but I did not have a reserved campsite for tonight. Today is beautiful, sunny and warm. I am hoping it will not be as cold as last night since I do not have any power.

Once I got my bearings I took the shuttle through the park and walked the riverside trail. I wanted a short warmup trail for today and it was about a 2 mile walk. Walking along the river gave me a sense of peace even with all the people around

It is a bit daunting camping and hiking by yourself. I realized in the past I always let others decide the hiking routes and pretty much let them lead the way. It is kind of nice making all the decisions. I like being the leader in my life these days.

As I sit here in the canyon I realize that this is the ultimate vacation. Hard to believe that Allipalooza is actually happening. A nap is on tap for the afternoon and then a trip into the little town of Springdale for some exploring and maybe some grub. Onto Bryce Canyon National Park tomorrow. I will be turning off the phone to conserve power and to bask in the beauty of the park. Til tomorrow night

Peace, love, and hope.

All

Technology Withdrawal

I didn't get a smart phone until October when the new iPhone came out. I had a texting phone before, but did not have a data plan. It is hard to believe I have become so dependent to being online all the time. It was weird turning my phone off today and not checking emails when I stopped to get ice cream or was waiting for the shuttle bus. I think that may need to be a goal while on this trip is to not depend on it so much. The ironic thing is I am using my phone to write this post. Except for a few quick hellos, a short conversation with the park ranger at the visitor's desk and asking the shuttle bus driver for directions to the Post Office, my only real communication has been through my blog and Facebook. It will take some time to get used to the silent days and only myself to have a conversation with. Yes, I've started talking to myself.

I'm going to hit the sack and make it an early night. I want to get up early and drive to Bryce to try and get a campsite in the park.

Peace, love and hope

Alli

P.S. Bought the best t-shirt today. Will post a picture tomorrow.

OMG!

It's Monday morning and the 2012! OMG Cancer Summit for Young Adults is over. After months of planning more the 500 survivors, caregivers and advocates attended what was the best conference in cancer land.

I think there was a good balance between the social activities and the educational sessions and first time attendees had the opportunity to meet someone who has walked in their shoes. I had the wonderful and somewhat daunting task of kicking off the summit on Saturday morning by sharing my story. It was empowering to stand before people who get it and although I was so nervous my legs was shaking from it went really well.

I also participated in two sessions including one on chronic cancer and the possibility of death. While a very difficult and topic it was well received and important to share that part of my journey.

I met so many new friends that I hope to keep in touch with. I talked about my upcoming trip and handed out hundreds of Allipalooza stickers. I can't tell you how loved I felt when I walked around and saw people wearing the stickers in support.

I hope all the attendees had as good of time as I did.

In a few hours I check out of the hotel and go to pick up the conversion/camper van for a nine day trip across the southwest. I am extremely excited and will try to post every evening. You can also find short updates and pictures on twitter. You do not need a twitter account to follow my adventures. It is www.twitter.com/THEallipalooza or @THEallipalooza.

Allipalooza-Southwest Has Begun!!

As I write this I am sitting on a plane flying across the country. Allipalooza-Southwest has officially begun.  I begin my trip by spending 5 days in Las Vegas for the 5th Annual OMG 2012! Cancer Summit. 

On Monday I am renting a campervan and driving around the Southwest including Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park, Grand Staircase / Escalante National Monument, Grand Canyon National Park and Sedona. 

I am very excited. I've been planning this leg of Allipalooza for months.  Not only do I get to spend the weekend with 500+ young adult cancer survivors, caregivers, and advocate, but I get to spend 10 days exploring the desert. 

A few minutes ago we flew over the Grand Canyon.  Such a beautiful sight from the sky. Hard to believe I will be there in person in just a week.  I am truly lucky to have this opportunity to make a dream come true and travel the country. 

I will try and update this blog and post pictures on twitter throughout my travels.  www.twitter.com/THEallipalooza.  (You do not need a twitter account to view my updates and pictures on twitter) 

The pilot has just called for us to turn off all electrical devices so I must go.  I will post this as soon as I can get connected. 

Goodbye for now, 

Alli 

Shamrock 5K

Things have been quiet on the Allipalooza blog, but I can assure that life has been anything but.    I came home from Colorado on March 8^th and three days later completed my next Allipalooza activity – a 5k as my Team FD challenge.

I was very worried about the 5K.   I was only 8 weeks out of knee surgery and still in need of another surgery on my other knee.   I had been walking in Colorado and I figured that if I can train at high elevation walking at sea level would be easier, but I was still nervous.

Wearing my Team FD gear and my hat from camp.

The day after I got home I picked up my race packet and I was super psyched.   I have been planning on walking a 5K since I got home from camp and it was finally happening.

At the finish line with Aimee

My friend Aimee wore my race jersey and walked with me. She was a great companion and I could not have done this without her support. I dedicated the 5K to my fellow FD camper Sage who passed away in November, my father and in celebration of where my experience at First Descents has brought me. 

Below is an update I wrote for my fundraising page after the walk.

UPDATE:  On March 11, 2012 I finally completed my 5K with a great time of just over 1 hour.  It was a better time that I could have dreamed of.   I find it no coincidence that it comes exactly 8 months from my first day on the water at First Descents.   That day was life changing for me, just like today.   In Montana I had to overcome my fears, today I overcame my body.   A lot has happened since that first day at camp.  I have reclaimed my life, but it has been a roller coaster.   For every milestone of achievement there has been a challenge, but that is what life is all about.  
I was not sure I was going to be able to complete my 5K, but that is not what Team FD is for, it is about taking a risk and challenging yourself.  If you would like to support First Descents and the wonderful work they do, please make a donation at http://teamfd.firstdescents.org/2011/fd/Lolli/Alli/ and help another young adult have a great experience at camp.  

Having fun with shadows on the way to the start

We had to walk about a mile just to the starting point so by the time we completed the walk and got back to the car, I walked over 4.5 miles.   Pretty good for someone who was afraid I could not complete the 5k. It did not matter that I was at the tail end of the walkers, it only mattered that I tried. 

 

We were almost lapped by the parade and had to sprint to the finish line, but that added to the excitement of the day.   My final time was 61:42. Average mile time: 19:52. I beat my previous time without even trying.

Needless to say my knees were not particularly happy with me that night nor the next day, but I was still flying high on my achievement.   I had my follow-up appointment with my Orthopedic Surgeon the next day and he determined I need to have surgery on my left knee.   I have that scheduled for April 19^th, right after I get back from Allipalooza – Southwest .

All smiles at the end of the walk

More to come in the next update on the plans for Allipalooza Southwest.   Thanks for all your support. 

Another glorious week of Allipalooza

This has been a crazy week.   Saturday afternoon two great friends came up to the mountains to visit.   We had a wonderful day/evening chatting and catching up.   While one of my friends went skiing, I talked to the other one about the experience of writing her books.   I am seriously thinking about writing a book about Allipalooza and it was good to hear someone’s experience with writing.

On Sunday, I went back to my new favorite coffee shop, drank fresh brewed Chai and spent an hour or so writing.   It was glorious.   After spending the rest of the morning and early afternoon working on my fundraising letters, I had more visitors.   Ironically, it was friends that were moving from Maryland to Seattle and had stayed at my house in MD the prior weekend.  While I had the privilege to fly across the country, it was nice to hear their adventures from driving.   Later that night I went to a local pub to finish my “mini-tour” of beer tastings and receive a St. Patrick’s  day t-shirt.  

Not all my writing inspiration was from Chai

As expected I enjoyed my beers, but what I didn’t expect is to sit next to an incredible woman from Iowa.   After talking for a while we learned that we had a lot of things in common.  It was almost eerie.   Both of us are on the cusp of taking a big risk and embarking on an adventure that will likely change our lives.  Hopefully, our paths will cross again during another stage of Allipalooza.

On Monday I headed into Denver and had lunch with the founder of First Descents and later that day made dinner for a bunch of First Descents Alumni.   It was so nice to share experiences at FD and my thoughts about Allipalooza with these wonderful people and get their take on it.     I am also planning for a 5k on March 11^th as a Team FD challenge (more on that later) and I am very nervous about being able to complete it.   I voiced my concerns and received so much encouragement from these people that I had no doubt I will be able to not only complete the walk, but do it with confidence.

Awesome Chair in one of the Clubs

Tuesday morning I had to get up really early and head to the airport.  I went to Las Vegas for a planning meeting for the event I am working on for the end of March.    I was actually a little peeved that I had to interrupt my vacation to go to this meeting, but it was a great day.   I hung out with awesome young adult cancer advocates putting the last minute touches on what will be an incredible event for 500+ young adult cancer survivors, caregivers and advocates.  I even won a hundred dollars from the slots.

Wednesday, I flew back to Colorado and drove back to the mountains.  I felt like I was coming home.   This place speaks to me in a way I never thought possible since my time in California.  I feel so alive and love life so much.   Someone asked me how much I’m loving life and I responded “more than my nearly 40 years times a trillion”.   I feel like singing from the mountain tops.   Don’t worry, I will not pull a Julie Andrews and sing “The Hills are Alive”, at least not anytime soon.    

Thursday was a productive day of work and writing.   I spent most of the day at the coffee shop soaking in the atmosphere and being inspired.   As is my habit has been the last two weeks, I went to bed early and unlike most mornings today I slept in.   I did not get up until 7am.   If only I can continue this schedule when I get back home and stay productive.   Speaking of home, I really do not want to go back to Maryland.   I do miss my friends and family, but I am enjoying my times in the beautiful mountains that I feel like I belong here.  For twelve years now and twenty-some before that Maryland has been my home, but I am not too sure that hold true anymore.  I think one of the purposes of Allipalooza is to ponder not only what my future is, but where it will be.

Enjoying the outdoors

Yesterday it snowed again and I loved walking Maya in the snow.  It was one of my favorite things to do with Oscar, my golden retriever.   The world seems so fresh and unspoiled when it snows and all the missteps of previous days are covered up and we get the opportunity to begin anew.

This weekend three more friends are coming to the mountains and we will enjoy each other’s company, good food and the peaceful surroundings.  We are going tubing tomorrow afternoon and I plan to take them on a walk to the coffee shop one morning.   

Did I mention that Maya gets to go with me to the coffee shop with me?   Could there be a better place to get work done and while having great food, beverages and conversations?   I met a couple that used to live 15 minutes from my condo in Columbia.  The world is a very small place.

Well that is enough rambling for today.  Basically I just wanted to tell everyone how happy I am and how much I am enjoying the first stage of Allipalooza.

Peace, Hope and Blessings,

Alli

Thoughts from the Mountain

Another day in beautiful Colorado and I am getting lots of writing done.   For those that don’t know I wrote a book’let’called Reflections from on the Water”.    It is an account of my trip to First Descents this summer and the lessons I learned.   If you would like a copy of this, please email me at allipalooza@gmail.com and I will gladly send you one.

I consider myself a very spiritual person but not necessarily a religious person.  I feel that my relationship with God is a private one and I try not to push it onto other people.   I will warn you ahead of time that this post is a about my spirituality.

This week marks the beginning of Lent.  I was a bad Christian and did not get to church on Ash Wednesday, but I did read the service in my Prayer Book.   It is the tradition in the Episcopal Church to give something up Lent or to take on a practice for Lent.    I had a priest once that said that you should only give up something that will help you get closer to your relationship with God.   Giving up the candy bar you eat as an afternoon snack may not bring you closer to God, but maybe donating the money you would have spend on the candy to a Christian outreach program will.  

Many times I have added meditation or devotionals to my daily practice and did find them helpful.   Several years ago when I was first diagnosed, I could not fathom taking on something else or giving something up, unless I could give up chemo. 

A couple of years ago a friend was driving me to Ash Wednesday service and asked me what I was giving up for Lent.   I sassily replied dying.   It was a smart mouth remark, but after I thought about it, I decided it was a good one.   It was not so much giving up dying, but giving up waiting for the cancer to kill me.   I continued that during last year’s Lent as well.

This year I pondered what I should give up.   Food and I are having a battle these days and as my stomach and I am at war regarding what I can and cannot eat.   The list is so short I can’t imagine giving up the few foods I can eat.  . 

What I decided to give up is saying I’m Sorry.      I learned at camp this summer that I tell people I’m sorry too much and it is truly because I am setting my expectations too high and feel I am letting people down.   In fact it is the opposite.   I do not ask for help enough.  So that is my other thing I am doing for lent.  I am going to start practicing Asking for help more often.    The reality is that people want to help, but truly do not know what to do unless you tell them.

Even if you are not a practicing Christian or observe Lent, I encourage each of you to ponder things that you might be able to give up or take on things that will bring you closer to yourself.